We live in an age of constant connection. Emails flood in, instant messages ping, social media notifications buzz – the hum of communication is relentless. For some, this is a manageable flow or a relief from loneliness. But for others, particularly those in leadership positions, public-facing roles, or highly specialised fields, the sheer volume of communication can become a crushing weight. They find themselves facing an impossible task: answering more messages than humanly possible.

Every single means of communication I have is always full. My emails, Facebook messages, WhatsApp, you name it. On some platforms, the number of messages actually jams the app now and again. When people don’t get a response quickly they often then send a reminder or another message another way to try to trigger a response. As you can imagine, this just adds to the backlog.

When I open any of these platforms there are hoards of frustrated people pushing for a response. Sometimes on social media, by the time I get to a thread, people have gone through a range of emotions on their own, believing I have been present to witness it all. Via email, people mark their email as urgent or send a text every time they email me asking if I can set up a special email address just for their messages. All this is of course due to expectation; it’s very rare anything is truly time-sensitive but we live in a world of instant responses and most people are working on a different timescale than I can. I spend two hours of my life every day answering messages from people, but as soon as I respond, so do they. I want to communicate with people, and I want to value their message, but I am outnumbered and they enjoy talking online so the more I respond the more they do too. 

It’s a modern-day koan, a riddle wrapped in an enigma, delivered straight to your inbox. 

How do we answer the unanswerable?

The strategies vary from person to person but often involve a combination of the following:

• Prioritisation and Filtering: The first line of defence is triage. Urgent matters are addressed immediately, important but non-urgent ones are scheduled, and the rest… well, the rest may never be seen. This involves difficult decisions and the risk of overlooking something crucial. Filters, rules, and assistants become indispensable tools.
• Delegation: Where possible, tasks and communication are delegated to others. This requires trust and clear communication of expectations. It also means accepting that things might not be done exactly as you would have done them yourself.
• Batching and Timeboxing: Setting aside specific blocks of time for communication can help manage the flow. I approach this as a form of meditation. I answer emails for an hour every day and an hour for social media. This way, rather than reacting to every ping, emails etc are answered in batches, and meetings are scheduled efficiently. I find this approach works best for me as often I have messages from students that involve watching a video of them in meditation or an email that involves a contract or a manuscript. These kinds of communications require focused, dedicated attention.
• Automated Responses and Templates: For frequently asked questions or routine requests, automated responses and templates can save significant time. This provides a quick acknowledgement and sets expectations for a more detailed response later (if one is even necessary).
• Saying “No”: Perhaps the most difficult but essential strategy is learning to say “no.” Accepting that you can’t do everything and responding to every single request is crucial for self-preservation and maintaining effectiveness. This often involves setting boundaries and managing expectations.
• Acceptance and Letting Go: Ultimately, there may be messages that simply fall through the cracks. Accepting this reality, and letting go of the guilt associated with it, is a vital part of coping with information overload. This also includes recognising that not all communication deserves a response. Experience has taught that sometimes, the best response is no response, particularly when dealing with negativity, anger, or nastiness. Ignoring such messages can be a form of self-care and a way to protect one’s energy.

Years of dealing with this constant deluge can also have a more subtle, yet significant impact. It can begin to change you as a person. Over time, the sheer volume can lead to a sense of reductionism, where you start to categorise and process information in increasingly simplistic terms. This can also manifest as a growing dismissiveness towards small talk or messages perceived as pointless, as the mental energy required for such interactions becomes increasingly scarce.

However, this never-ending task, if approached correctly, can be of great value. It can be a form of training, honing skills in prioritisation, discernment, and efficient communication. It can also foster resilience and the ability to remain calm and focused under pressure. In truth, everyone sending you a message is reaching out with some gift, whether it’s a request, a question, a piece of information, or even just the opportunity to practice patience and compassion. By reframing the overwhelming influx as a series of opportunities, it’s possible to transform a burden into a valuable learning experience, a path to “email enlightenment”.

Amidst these strategies, however, there’s a crucial element often overlooked: the intention behind each interaction. 

You need to make sure you approach every message with a good heart.

While efficiency is paramount, it shouldn’t come at the cost of genuine engagement. For me, this means approaching each message in a calm, meditative state, with the attitude of doing service for others. It’s about striving to never answer messages without full presence, dedicating oneself to crafting responses that are not just comprehensive but also, in their own way, a blessing to the recipient. This means taking the time to truly understand the question, considering the context, and responding with thoughtfulness and care. It’s about recognising the human on the other side of the screen and treating each interaction as an opportunity to connect, to clarify, and to contribute something positive.

This struggle with overwhelming communication echoes, in a way, the spirit of the Bodhisattva vows. Bodhisattvas, in Buddhist tradition, vow to liberate all sentient beings, a task so vast and complex that it seems inherently impossible. Yet, they dedicate themselves to it wholeheartedly. While the context is vastly different, both scenarios involve confronting a seemingly insurmountable challenge.

Bodhisattva vow

• Beings are innumerable; I vow to save them all (shu-jo-mu-hen-sei-guan-do).

• Meritorious wisdoms are innumerable; I vow to accumulate them all (fuku chi mu hen sei gwan shu).

• The Dharma teachings are innumerable; I vow to master them all (ho mon mu hen sei gwan gaku).

• The Tathagata vows are innumerable; I vow to accomplish them all (nyorai mu hen sei gwan ji ji).

• Awakening is unsurpassed; I vow to attain awakening (bodai mu jo sei gwan sho bodai).

The key difference lies in the motivation. The individual drowning in communication is often driven by external pressures – deadlines, demands, expectations. The Bodhisattva, on the other hand, is driven by compassion and a deep inner conviction. While the Bodhisattva’s vow is rooted in altruism, the professional’s struggle is often about self-preservation and maintaining functionality.

However, there are parallels. Both require a degree of acceptance – accepting the limitations of one’s own capacity while striving to improve. Both involve prioritisation – focusing on what truly matters amidst the overwhelming volume. And both necessitate a form of letting go – accepting that perfection is unattainable and that some things will inevitably be left undone.  In both cases, the intention behind the action, the commitment to doing one’s best, is paramount.

In the face of impossible tasks, whether it’s answering every email with full engagement or liberating every being, the key lies not in achieving the impossible in its entirety but in dedicating oneself to the effort, in making progress where possible, and in accepting the limitations of the self while striving for the best possible outcome. It’s about finding a balance between striving and accepting, between action and surrender. It’s about recognising that even in the face of the impossible, the effort itself, infused with intention and care, has value. 

So the next time you are faced with too many emails, take a deep breath and smile to yourself as you begin your practice of the union of polarities.