They say Christmas comes but once a year, but in truth, this Christmas comes once in your lifetime. This is of course true of every encounter, every perception, every conversation.
Only Once in a Lifetime
The Zen Buddhists have a saying that derives from their traditional tea ceremony, Ichigo Ichie, which literally translates to “one time, one meeting”. It is the realisation that every moment we experience is a unique treasure that will never happen again in exactly the same way. Even if you gather with the same family, in the same house next year, the people will have changed, the world will have turned, and the specific “spark” of this moment will be gone.
Li Naosuke, summarised the concept as follows:
“Great attention should be given to a tea gathering, which we can speak of as ’one time, one meeting’ (ichigo, ichie). Even though the host and guests may see each other often socially, one day’s gathering can never be repeated exactly. Viewed this way, the meeting is indeed a once-in-a-lifetime occasion. The host, accordingly, must in true sincerity take the greatest care with every aspect of the gathering and devote himself entirely to ensuring that nothing is rough. The guests, for their part, must understand that the gathering cannot occur again and, appreciating how the host has flawlessly planned it, must also participate with true sincerity. This is what is meant by ’one time, one meeting’.”
Over the past few weeks I have been musing on this phrase. When we think of mindfulness we often think in terms of concentration and focus, but what about valuing your time with people? How about learning to really learn from others, to enjoy their company and make the best of each moment with them?
A Christmas Present: Embracing Ichigo, Ichie this Christmas
In the rush of December—the untangling of lights, the frantic gift-shopping, and the pressure of the “perfect” dinner—it is easy to treat Christmas as a series of tasks to be completed rather than a moment to be embodied, enjoyed and inhabited.
This year, we can find a beautiful sense of peace by looking at the holiday through the lens of the Japanese philosophy Ichigo Ichie
By practicing Ichigo Ichie, we aren’t just practising mindfulness; we are practising stewardship of the time given to us. When we focus entirely on the person in front of us or the meal we are eating, we are honouring the present moment as a divine appointment.
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How to Practice Ichigo Ichie This Christmas
In order to really value and bring value to this Christmas here are some of my ideas as to how to apply Ichigo Ichie this Christmas. Do please add you own in the comments.
- Remember this is a one-off: This only happens today.
- Remember to give your Full Attention: This is the greatest gift you have to offer,
- Bring Harmony: You are not going to bring around a total reform in Great Uncle Bulgaria’s worldview today. Respond with kindness and defuse any difficulties skillfully. Only if he seems receptive, you could offer a few words that plant the seed of the next step in his understanding of the world.
- Put Away the “Permanent” Lens: We often record videos of Christmas morning through a screen, trying to save it for later. Try putting the phone down for an hour. Experience the morning with your own eyes, knowing that its fleeting nature is exactly what makes it precious.
- Listen as if it’s the First Time: When an older relative tells a story you’ve heard before, listen with a beginner’s mind. This specific telling, with their specific voice, at this stage of their life, is a unique event!
- Celebrate the Imperfections: A burnt batch of piggies in blankets, a misjudged gift or a tangled set of Christmas lights isn’t a “ruined” Christmas; it is a part of this year’s unique story.
- Accept the day as it is: Let’s let go of the perfectly planned day and instead engage fully with the one unfolding right in front of us. This is the only time we have. Make it count.
- Eat the sprouts Scrooge! Join in with the games and open your heart. It’s only one day.
Thank you to Anshu Stephen K Hayes for inspiring this festive contemplation, please do check his blog here –
https://www.stephenkhayes.com/ichi-go-ichi-e-wisdom-for-the-holidays-vlog/