I have been reading the Sutras. I started with the Lotus Sutra and then read the Diamond and Heart Sutra. I always hate Buddhist writings they upset me and challenge my worldview; I often put them down and have to come back to them later. I find the commentaries that are included really don’t help. I just need to get the writing themselves and really connect with them.
The Lotus Sutra is really about realizing that you are already perfect; that you have to stop pretending to be limited and have the guts to let go of your limitations and vices. The ones you hold on to because either you enjoy them or because you are not ready to take full responsibility for your life, actions and personality. The Heart Sutra however, has a focus on nothingness. It’s a hard message. There is no ‘you’, you have no body , no soul, no personality. You simply don’t exist as a separate entity. I found this a very hard thing to read.
Having finished the Sutra I lay on my bed, tired from the mental effort of the text. My mind rallied against the message. The argument being that separateness is an illusion. A tree is as much part of the globe as the hair is part of me. As you read these words are they part of me or part of you? Am I my body or my mind? Where is me? I was exhausted and pondered on this state of being. Was the air in my lungs part of me or not; was the oxygen in my lungs me or not? Was any part of my being? It is only there temporarily. My whole body is constantly renewing itself.
If my finger became self-aware but was unaware of it being joined to my body would it think it was separate? Were the bacteria in my digestive system separate or part of me. What about the cells in my body. Like amoeba were they separate? Am I just a team of specialized single cell life forms working together? I tried to give up and go to sleep but my mind was stuck in gear. It strained against the idea and I couldn’t rest, sleep or stop looking for the answer.
Then something happened. My mind cleared and a beautiful calmness overcame me; I was in a state of indescribable bliss. The borderlines of my perception melted away. Martin Faulks no longer existed. There was just being. I felt an overwhelming feeling of oneness – an underlying feeling that has never really left me since. This spiritual experience caused by the reading of the Sutra has made me realize these words are a kind of shock treatment that allows you to understand the interconnectedness with everything. Making you realize you are a wave in the sea of life.